Friday, June 11, 2010

Your Ass is Never Too Little for Karma to Kick...

I was a preschool teacher before I was a parent and I'm grateful for that experience because it afforded me the calm to deal with situations that I've seen other moms gasp over. Those ugly little instances when somebody gets feisty and grabs a toy, or snatches a binky, or follows your child around just so he can get in a good position to whale on him from behind... all can be a bit alarming for a first time mom or someone with limited exposure to young children. I know this stuff happens and that reacting with some grace and a sense of humor can make all the difference. I'm gearing up for all kinds of these interactions as my littlest begins to navigate more and more of the world. He is stubborn and has his listening ears set to "5th Time She Says It."

Recently "the Little Viking" has been trying out some "smack and run" techniques on his older brother. The six year old has never had anyone in his life who hurts him just to find out what he'll do and is reduced to a whiney tattle tale (basically he becomes a 4 year old girl...) each time this happens. We tell the Viking "No!" and sit him down. He gets up and yells "OOOOHHH! RAAAAAHHH!" His next move is wicked slick - he grabs a ball or a pillow and wings directly in his brother's face and just as it hits, says "Catch!" Abuse disguised as play. His only mistake is that he's predictable and doesn't know it yet. So now when I say, "Do NOT throw a ball at your brother! Play nice." He looks at me bewildered that I could have read his mind, and cocks his arm back anyways... I am on the verge of teaching the six year old how to pinch or push him.

The Universe is always righting wrongs, my friends and every now and again we get to appreciate a little Karma. I visited a friend who runs a home day care this week and one of her "charges" is a beefy little corker with curly hair and dimples. He immediately took an interest in the Viking. He got a little too close right off the bat and got a stiff arm, which usually is all the six year old needs to understand "back off."  Well........ The Little Viking learned this week that some kids hit you back. Some kids then follow you around the yard in an attempt to separate you from your mom and your binky. Some kids will take everything you want to play with.
I gave the chubby little enforcer about three minutes to educate my baby before hip checking him "by accident" when I bent down to pick up my keys. Yes indeed... your ass is never too little to be bitten by your own actions.


  1. Is it completely un-parent-like of me to admit that I DID teach my oldest how to defend himself against his younger brother? In my defense, the younger one DID break the older one's toe.

  2. LOVE THIS!!
    ....and in case you were wondering "wtf is this lady's deal?" I do have a job, I just don't feel like doing it today so I decided I'm going to mentally take the day off and so here I am.